“Memorialize”

The dog is rescue Irish-Setter #5. We lost that dog to cancer. (My wife, worried about security, did not have her Facebook named her actual name.) (Screenshot Photoshopped by BobbaLew.)

“How did you do that?” my niece from Fort Lauderdale texted. “Mom’s Facebook is still open.”
I inadvertently “memorialized” my deceased wife’s Facebook. She died almost six years ago. Yet her Facebook remained open; closing it was too much trouble.
My sister, my niece’s mother, is also GONE; December 11th, 2011. Her Facebook remains open too.
“Damned if I know,” I texted back. The usual Facebook insanity: “Try this and see what happens!” No idea how I got there, but finally Facebook admits my wife is gone.
Like I remember what I did. Wild fiddling and stabbing around. Is it any wonder I rarely fire up Facebook? It’s too complicated.
Unknowable mysteries wrapped in conundrums. I could engage “guile-and-cunning,” and probably make sense of it. Why bother? All to line SuckerBird’s pockets? I got things I’d rather do.
Yesterday I fired up Facebook and clicked their “notifications” globe — it indicated I had a notification.
It was my aquacise coach. “Notifications” indicated I had a “saved” post from her.
“WHA-A-A-A?”
“Just delete it,” she texted me. The fact I have her as a FB “friend” is a fast-one on Facebook’s part. They trolled my iPhone contacts after I got Facebook-for-iPhone.
The fact I even have a Facebook is yet another fast-one on FB’s part. I could dump it, but too many of my actual friends use FB as e-mail. Which I rarely look at, since I was born in the previous century — which is all Hollywood and Walter Cronkite, e.g. we never went to no moon, Kennedy was never assassinated, Elvis is still alive working at a Mickey-D’s in Memphis, etc.
So my nephew’s latest child was already six months old when I found out; the birth was announced on Facebook.
So now my wife’s Facebook is “memorialized.” But still not closed = still too much trouble. Far be it we take away SuckerBird’s ads of muscled young hunks for my departed.

• My wife died of cancer April 17th, 2012. I miss her immensely. Best friend I ever had, and after my childhood I sure needed one. She actually liked me.
• “SuckerBird” is of course Mark Zuckerberg, head-honcho of Facebook. He’ll run for prez in maybe 20-25 years; hopefully I’m gone by then. (It’s bad enough to have Tweet-boy’s finger on the nuclear trigger — which thankfully my beloved wife never knew. “How ‘bout it honey?”)