I made her day

“I tried the free pizza-slice at the new Byrne Dairy on West Ave.,” I told the pizza-clerk at the Canandaigua Weggers.
No;” I said pointing; “this is better.”
The lady smiled. Usually she’s an old sourpuss. The kind Weggers eventually fires.
She growled at me before when I ordered pizza — must be I interrupted her day-long donut break.
“Uh-oh; there she is again — dread!”
“It’s good pizza,” she said, smiling. Grinning from ear-to-ear!
I been on this planet 73 years. My wife died five years ago.
That being the case, I’m now on-my-own.
I’ve deduced it makes sense to say it — ya never know what you’ll get.
It will probably be worthwhile.
So I’m more likely to blurt things out than I was in the past; when I kept to myself.
Last year I went to my wife’s mother’s 100th birthday celebration in FL. She outlived her daughter, and died recently herself.
My brother-in-law, my wife’s only sibling, and I hit a Mickey-D’s to avoid lunch with “mother,” who I’m sure would yet-again ask me to fix her ancient typewriter. (“What’s a typewriter?” people ask.)
We sat down, and in walked “Harmon,” wearing a WWII veteran hat.
“Holy mackerel,” I exclaimed. “I thought you guys were all dying off.”
So began Harmon’s entire life story: abandonment by his parents in WV, working for a farmer in TX, driving to Californy in a ’32 Ford.
We weren’t able to get outta there for at least two hours.
As I recall he was a Coast-Guard veteran, who joined the war-effort by lying about his age. By now he was 93 or 94.
My niece from Rochester strode in with her boyfriend and daughter, a chance for Harmon to repeat his life story.
“Ya never know what you’ll get,” I noted to my brother-in-law; “but that’s the last time I do that.” That guy needed someone to spill to, and we were it.
Complete strangers from far away; yada-yada-yada-yada.
“If you wish,” I said to the pretty clerk at my local post-office; “I could give you the useless facts regarding that July train-calendar photo.”
“Oh goodie,” the girl smiled silently. “I never know what he’s talking about, but he’s paying attention to ME.”
Years ago I was afraid to talk to pretty girls. But my parents and Sunday-School Superintendent were WRONGO-WRONGO-WRONGO-WRONGO. They were just intimidating me, and they succeeded.
“Dare I say this?” I asked our pretty young waitress at the Canandaigua **********.
“You’ll make someone a wonderful wife, if ya haven’t already.”
“What makes ya say that?” she asked.
Utter silence on my part; stroke-effect, verbal lockup, aphasia, whatever.
“Yer a nice person,” I finally said.
She projected still being single, so “I’m gonna relate the advice I once gave to another girl.
‘Yer gonna get married some day. Whatever ya do, marry someone that can make ya laugh. Do that and yer in it for the long haul,’” I said.
“All kinds of things are gonna go horribly wrong, but if the guy can make ya laugh, you’ll get over ‘em.”
I no longer have my wife around to cover for me.
I’ve noted saying anything is a gamble, but results have been too positive.
If people are negatory, it ain’t my fault.
Go ahead and say it. Ya never know what you’ll get.
I made that sourpuss pizza-lady smile.

• “Weggers” is Wegmans, a large supermarket-chain based in Rochester where I often buy groceries. They have a store in nearby Canandaigua.
• “Mickey-D’s” is of course McDonald's.
• As a railfan I do 75-80 computer calendars every year with train pictures my brother-and-I took near Altoona, PA. I send them out as Christmas-presents, and my local post-office gets one too. Altoona is where the Pennsylvania Railroad crossed Allegheny mountain = an engineering triumph for the 1840s. The railroad is still extremely busy, but is no longer Pennsy. It’s Norfolk Southern.