“No glitches yet”

“Please tell us more about why you gave this ‘excellent’ rating,” the survey asked.
“No glitches yet,” I answered.
Yrs Trly does online banking.
When I went to log out, the bank showered me with a bothersome survey similar to what I often get.
I’m pleased, so decided to do their survey.
“Please tell us how we can improve our features.”
“The only reason I didn’t click ‘excellent’ for ‘mobile-deposit’ is because I had to figger it out.
Now it’s excellent = saves going to the bank.”
“What functionality would you most like to see added to our online/mobile banking solution?”
(The old newspaper employee in me would reword that: “What function would you most like to see added to our online/mobile banking?”)
“Nothing, so far.
All I wanna do is pay bills and deposit checks = avoid writing and mailing checks to pay bills, and going to the bank to deposit checks.”
The most important thing is paying monthly bills electronically. All credits to my checking-account are electronic: my Transit pension, my Social Security, deposits from my IRA.
That IRA deposit only replaces my wife’s pension; she died four years ago.
So my bills should be paid electronically too.
All that written check is doing is prompting an electronic funds-transfer from me to the biller.
The phone company, my gas and electric, my cable, etc.
“No electronical bill-pays by some biller’s floozy in India fer this kid — I’d rather initiate that bill-pay MYSELF, and yer lettin’ me do that.
I’ve seen what can happen = accounts overdrawn due to multiple bill-pays.
Try to straighten out such mistakes with someone on the other side of the planet, whose only command of English is ‘I’m deeply, deeply sorry.’”
Years ago a girl I worked with at the newspaper set up monthly repayment of her college loan.
It went bonkers. Multiple charges overdrew her account, prompting penalties.
The poor girl was on the phone for hours with some service-rep in India trying to get him to correct things and pay the bank’s penalties.
If anyone makes a mistake, it’s ME; and I have.
Some time ago my credit-card charged me interest because of a one-penny mistype.
I always pay my credit-card in full to avoid interest, but this time triggered the vipers by mistyping the payment by a penny.
I can swallow that; that’s my mistake.
But I ain’t about to let some biller charge me into bankruptcy so they can keep paying for their Mercedes.

• The “newspaper” is the Canandaigua Daily-Messenger, from where I retired almost 11 years ago. Best job I ever had — I worked there almost 10 years (over 11 if you count my time as a post-stroke unpaid intern [I had a stroke October 26th, 1993, from which I recovered fairly well]). (“Canandaigua” [“cannan-DAY-gwuh”] is a small city nearby where I live in Western NY. The city is also within a rural town called “Canandaigua.” The name is Indian, and means “Chosen Spot.” —It’s about 14 miles away.)
• “Transit” equals Regional Transit Service, the public transit-bus operator in Rochester, NY, where I drove transit-bus for 16&1/2 years (1977-1993). My stroke ended that. I retired on medical-disability.