Uh-ohhhh.........

“Second attempt!” it screamed.
Funny, I don’t remember a first attempt.
“Warning: $2,000 fine, 5 years imprisonment, or both for any person interfering or obstructing with delivery of this letter, U.S. Mail TTT-18, U.S. Code.”
Grammar like that would have never passed this old newspaper employee.
“To be opened by addressee only. Please respond in five days.”
Sounds serious!
“Presorted standard mail, U.S. postage paid, Ft. Lauderdale FL.”
Sounds like Publisher’s Clearing-House.
These guys will say anything to get me to not trash their letter.
Little do they know. Unlike many, I open every piece of mail, although I shred just about everything.
I don’t want to inadvertently toss a bill.
But it wasn’t Publisher’s Clearing-House.
It wasn’t even a credit-card offer, and I get plenty of those, masquerading as dunning-letters.
Free dinner if you attend our hearing-aid trial. My ears work fine, and I don’t wanna endure a sales-pitch, even for a free dinner.
It was a solicitation to extend the warranty-coverage on my car.
Made to look like a threat from on high by the guvamint.
IN THE SHREDDER!