Tiger, Tiger, burning bright......

I’m at the Canandaigua YMCA the other day (Friday, February 19, 2010), quietly pumping away on one of their three fabulous Precor® AMT cardiovascular trainers.
Tiger Woods is on one of their wall-mounted plasma-babies; the one tuned to CNN.
He’s giving his first press conference since the accident, and subsequent media frenzy; “Live — Scripted,” it says. “No questions.”
It’s in the clubhouse at TPC Sawgrass — home of the PGA Tour — in Ponte Vedra Beach, FL.
A small select audience is attending, including three stony-faced women, glaring in the front row.
Thankfully no sound on the wall-mounted plasma-babies; even the closed-captioning is off.
The YMCA often runs closed-captioning on their plasma-babies, since there’s no sound.
So there’s Tiger, looking distraught and bedraggled.
CNN is running short video-clips of what he said as sidebars.
“I apologize,” blah-blah-blah; “I’m deeply sorry; I’ve ruined my family,” yada-yada-yada; “I failed those that look up to me — use me as an example,” mea culpa; “I thought I could get away with it, but I was caught.” Please take a number; no questions, please!
All I could think of was my Aunt May’s reaction to her ex, caught philandering.
“The bum,” she said.

• I work out in the Canandaigua YMCA exercise-gym. (“Canandaigua” [“cannon-DAY-gwuh”] is a small city to the east nearby where we live in Western NY. The city is also within a rural town called “Canandaigua.” The name is Indian, and means “Chosen Spot.” —It’s about 15 miles away.)
• “Plasma-babies” are what my loudmouthed macho brother-from-Boston calls all high-definition wide/flat-screen TVs. Other technologies beside plasma are available, but he calls them all “plasma-babies.”