I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore, Toto

Photo by BobbaLew.

Yesterday (Monday, January 25, 2010) our plumber replaced a toilet in our master bathroom.
It’s a Toto, a brand I’ve never heard of, but it must pass muster.
We heard all kinds of strident declarations about the evil of other toilets, like Kohler is the absolute worst toilet in the world.
I normally don’t make phonecalls, since my ability to do so is somewhat compromised by my stroke, but I decided to try it.
Our previous toilet was 20 years old, and tended to plug.
“What kind of toilet is it?” the plumber asked.
I didn’t know.
“Kohler?” he asked.
“I think so,” I said.
“Worst toilet ever made,” he declared.
I looked later. It wasn’t Kohler; it was American-Standard.
“Tell the plumber when he calls back it’s American-Standard,” I said to my wife.
“Well, they’re no good either,” he declared.
This was the same guy who a few weeks ago badmouthed our tankless water-heater, saying it was the whole reason the water-flow in our master bathroom shower was sickly.
We had the awful temerity and unmitigated gall and horrific audacity to disagree, noting the water-flow in our other shower was stupendous, so much we had to throttle it back.
A tankless water-heater heats hot water as it passes through. There’s no storage tank, as is common.
Hot-water supply is constant; ya don’t run out a storage tank.
“We have a new throne,” my wife said, as I returned from the Canandaigua YMCA and Weggers.
I never saw the plumber.
I christened the new toilet.
The old toilet was semi-plugged with salt deposits.
And no matter how much he badmouthed American-Standard, our other toilets are the same as our replaced toilet.
All three were installed at the same time, when our house was built 20 years ago.
And our other American-Standard toilets work just fine.

• “Our” is my wife of 42 years, and myself.
• I had a stroke October 26, 1993, and it slightly compromised my speech. (Difficulty putting words together.)
• I work out in the Canandaigua YMCA exercise-gym. (“Canandaigua” [“cannon-DAY-gwuh”] is a small city to the east nearby where we live in Western NY. The city is also within a rural town called “Canandaigua.” The name is Indian, and means “Chosen Spot.” —It’s about 15 miles away.)
• “Weggers” is Wegmans, a large supermarket-chain based in Rochester we often buy groceries at. They have a store in Canandaigua.