The best doctor I’ve ever had

Last week I happened to visit our medical doctor — I forget which day.
I really like this guy.
After 65 years on this planet, I feel like he’s the best doctor I’ve ever had.
This may be a reflection that over the years I’ve had quite a few turkeys.
My last doctor was a real dunce.
The pill-pusher.
He was the one I had when I had my stroke.
He looked at me, and told my wife she’d be carting me around like a vegetable for the rest of my life.
“I’m gonna prove you wrong, Doc!” I shouted.
Probably indecipherable gibberish, but that’s what I meant.
The reason for this most recent visit was the biannual checkup for this aging bag-a’-bones.
“197 pounds,” they said. “That’s less than last time.”
“Yeah, less than 200,” I said. “I go by the scale at the Canandaigua YMCA. That says 190 or so.”
“Probably no clothes,” the nurse said.
“Our Wal*Mart roulette scale says 187,” I said. “But that’s only sometimes. Other times it says 197.”
The next assay was blood-pressure. “Lemme know whatcha get,” I said. “I check this every day.”
“140 over 85.”
“Higher than I get. I average about 130 over 80.”
The doctor came in.
“I think we oughta double your Hydrochlorothiazide. 140 over 85 is borderline.”
“My old prescription runs out, so I’ll need a new one.”
He thereupon wrote a new prescription for 90 90-mg tablets.
I drove home.
I looked at my old prescription; 25 mg.
25 to 90 mg is doubling?
Is this thing right?
Is the doctor REPUBLICAN?
My wife had to visit the same doctor the following week, so took the prescription.
“That ain’t right,” the doctor said. “They don’t even make a 90-mg tablet.”
He rewrote the prescription down to 50 mg.
Oh well, he’s only human, and the pharmacy woulda questioned it.
Part of the reason I like this doctor is he can laugh at himself.
A thought came to mind.
“We oughta blow you in for medical malpractice. Bring in Cellino & Barnes; maybe even Mike the Hammer.”
I probably won’t even say this to him.
I really like the guy.
Best doctor I ever had.

• I had a stroke October 26, 1993.
• My wife of 42 years is “Linda.”
• I work out at the “Canandaigua YMCA.” (“Canandaigua” [“cannon-DAY-gwuh”] is a small city nearby where we live in Western NY. The city is also within a rural town called “Canandaigua.” The name is Indian, and means “Chosen Spot.” —It’s about 15 miles away.)
• “Hydrochlorothiazide” is an inexpensive blood-pressure medication; a water-pill.
• “Cellino & Barnes” are injury attorneys local to Rochester that advertise a lot on TV. “Mike the Hammer” is another attorney, specializing in auto accidents, that advertises heavily.