“Nuke the baby-seals!”

My cellphone rings.
It’s the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (“ASPCA”).
They wanna speak to my wife.
This is interesting. My wife has her own cellphone, but they called mine.
They want more money, of course.
A professional fund raiser — she admitted as much. “We got a live one here! Call ‘em up, Dora!”
“I need all the details of your most recent gift,” she says.
“Are you an animal lover?”
“Yes and no,” my wife said.
If she’d thought of it fast enough, she woulda said “Nuke the baby-seals!”

• My wife of almost 42 years is “Linda.”