Three things:

—1) “Do you actually own a Ferrari, or is that just a tee-shirt?” asked a guy in the Canandaigua YMCA Exercize-Gym the other day (Monday, October 19, 2009).
I was pumping away on the Precor® AMT, a sort of semi-elliptical exercise machine.
And I was wearing my red Ferrari tee-shirt. It has a tiny yellow Ferrari shield emblazoned on the left-front.
“It’s just a tee-shirt,” I said. “I don’t own one.
Although I will admit that when I was in college long ago I dreamed of some day owning a Ferrari.
The dream withered,” I said.
“For all intents a car is just a means to get from Point A to Point B. For that, ya don’t need a Ferrari.”
“Plus they’re a bear to maintain,” the guy said.
“Not only that, ya can’t stretch ‘em out,” I said.
“It’s illegal, and traffic won’t let you.”
He walked to another exercise machine.
“I will tell you a story though.
The other morning I’m at the intersection of County Road 14 and State Route 64 in Ionia (‘eye-OWN-ya’), about to turn onto 64.
About seven supercars blasted past, southbound, all in a row, all doing about 80 mph. A ‘Vette, a Porsche (“POOR-sha”), a Mustang GT500, a Dodge Viper, and at least one Ferrari, I think the F430.
That’s not seven, but they were moving too fast.
To my mind, the car that stood out was the Ferrari; everything else was a compromise.
The Mustang GT500 has a great motor, but its rear-axle is a log.
The Viper and ‘Vette are better cars, but their motors aren’t double overhead cam. The ‘Vette is engineered extremely well, but the Viper excels on the size of its motor. Make it big enough, and ya got a supercar. —It’s kind of the same way with the ‘Vette.
The Porsche is nice, but the motor is in the wrong place.
It’s out behind the rear axle, where it can throw off the weight balance.
The Porsche Boxter is better. It’s mid-engined, with the motor ahead of the rear wheels.
You can engineer to offset rearward weight bias, but the motor, fabulous as it is, is still in the wrong place.
A Porsche is a great car, but essentially a souped-up Volkswagen Beetle.
The only car without compromise was the Ferrari.
Every car was lustable, but I’d want the Ferrari most.
But then, where do I put the groceries? Where do I put my dog?
Better yet, where do I wring it out?

—2) My Facebook® had an ad for Microsoft Windows 7 off to the side.
It had a short video; I clicked it.
Essense of video: shake the window ya want on your ‘pyooter (I suppose with your mouse), and it becomes the only window ya see.
Zippity-do!
What’s so special about that?
Um, this is progress?
Okay, I hit the “maximize window” button on my MAC, and it becomes the only window I see (Hello) — plus it fills the whole screen. (I don’t think Windows-7 is doing that.)
Sorry Gates, but I’m drivin’ OS-X, and as I’ve said to other PC users, once ya drive OS-X ya can’t switch.
Gates and his lackeys try to keep up, but Apple looks better.
Sometimes my MAC drives me crazy (like find a file, for example), but Windows is droll by comparison (and I’ve used Windows).
Beyond that, over six years of OS-X use I’ve never had my rig crash. I’ve had stuff freeze, but I can “force-quit” without bringing down my whole machine.

—3) “This catalog is printed on paper that has been certified by the Forest Stewardship Council,” and “We use eco-friendly vegetable inks!”
“WHAT?” I ask.
This is the Heifer Project’s one-and-only Christmas catalog; a worthy effort, and one I will support.
But do they need to say that?
Will it enhance my “giving experience?”

• “Ionia” is a tiny village, in the town of West Bloomfield, near where we live, about three miles away. (We live in the small rural town of West Bloomfield in Western N.Y., southeast of Rochester.)
• A “Mustang GT500” is a special Mustang that gets 500 horsepower, on pump gas, no less. —It has a mechanically supercharged V8 motor.
• Most Porsches have the engine in the rear, like a Volkswagen Beetle. But it’s a much more powerful engine, usually six cylinders as opposed to four in the Beetle. Locating the engine there is like locating a heavy dumbbell weight behind the rear wheels. It throws off the car’s weight balance.
• The Corvette, Viper, Mustang, and Ferrari are essentially mid-engine too, except the engine is in front of the driver. In the Boxter it is behind the driver; the common definition for “mid-engine.”
• “‘Pyooter” is computer.
• “Gates” is Bill Gates, the head-honcho of Microsoft. My ‘pyooter (“rig”) is an Apple Macintosh. “OS-X” is its operating system, Apple Computer’s tenth operating system.