Mighty Lowes freezer follies

We were supposed to have a new small chest-freezer purchased at mighty Lowes in Canandaigua delivered yesterday (Friday, May 16, 2008). But that crashed mightily in flames, thanks no doubt to our not using Outlook.
The Lowes delivery-guys called last Thursday (May 15), and I said we wouldn’t be home Friday morning, but if possible they could deliver it Friday afternoon. (The delivery reservation was all-day Friday.)
So yesterday morning while I was at the so-called elitist country-club dodging schoolbuses and the honey-dipper attempting to run, they apparently called my cellphone.
I carry along my cellphone in a holster should I have to call 9-1-1.
Retrieve cellphone from rear location, remove cellphone from holster to answer, flip open cellphone.
Too late. Dead as a doornail.
No message; not even a callback number. —Didn’t even know it was Lowes. (Where is Outlook when I need it?)
We were still expecting the freezer that afternoon, but 3 o’clock came, so Linda (not Outlook) called Lowes.
“On the truck,” the girl said. “In my computer for delivery this afternoon.”
5:45 p.m.; still no freezer.
So Linda called again.
This time she got Chris. “I’ll connect ya to major appliances!” (“Please hold during the silence. Boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom-chicka.”)
Major appliances is clueless, so back to Chris — wouldna happened if we’d used Outlook.
“Please hold during the silence. Boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom-chicka.”
This time it was Kitchen Cabinets — so back to Chris.
“Please hold during the silence. Boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom-chicka.”
This time it was the Garden Department (??????????).
Back to Chris.
Meanwhile I’ve been able to walk the dog and return: about 15 minutes.
“Lemme go get a manager,” Chris says. A Keystone Cops episode that could have been avoided with Outlook.
Manager attempts to locate the truck, but they don’t have the freezer — and it’s after 6 p.m.
Manager-man went into Indian tech-support mode: “we are so-so sorry, Mrs. Hughes. Apparently there had been some kind of mixup for which I deeply apologize.”
“Our delivery people tried to call this morning to confirm your delivery, and no one answered.”
“We said we wouldn’t be home. And ya didn’t leave a message. People can’t always drop everything to answer the phone. That’s what voicemail is for.”
(Of course, this wouldna happened with Outlook.)
“Again, I am deeply-deeply sorry, Mrs. Hughes. Yada-yada-yada-yada.”
“Everything is out of our old freezer melting.” (OUTLOOK ALERT!)
“We’ll emergency deliver your freezer tomorrow (today, May 17). And we are so-so sorry. Just make sure you’re around to confirm appointment.”
Thankfully the zero-turn was not from mighty Lowes.
The mower-shop delivered it without a problem — i.e. without Outlook.

“Mighty Lowes” is Lowes Home-Improvement. They have a store in Canandaigua.

RE: “Thanks no doubt to our not using Outlook..........” —Outlook is the Microsoft calender and e-mail program. My macho, loudmouthed brother-from-Boston, the ad-hominem king, who noisily badmouths everything I do or say, excoriates me for not using Outlook, noisily claiming it will solve all my scheduling problems; like too much to do in not enough time. I have suggested mowing his lawn instead of watching NASCAR, if he can find his mower.

“The so-called elitist country-club” is nearby Boughton (“BOW-tin”) Park, where I run. It was called that long ago by an editor at the Canandaigua Daily-Messenger newspaper, where I once worked, because it will only allow taxpayers of the three towns that own it to use it. We are residents of one of those towns.

RE: “Dodging schoolbuses and the honey-dipper.........” —Victor (a nearby town) buses high-school students to the park for canoeing instruction, and the park has Porta-Johns that have to be serviced with a so-called honey-dipper.

“Linda” is my wife of 40+ years.

Our dog is “Killian;” a rescue Irish-Setter. He has lymphatic cancer, and probably won’t survive. —He’s over 10; we don’t know his birthdate.

“Indian tech-support mode” is Microsoft tech-support based in India.

Our “zero-turn” is our 48-inch Husqvarna riding-mower; “zero-turn” because it’s a special design with separate drives to each drive-wheel, so it can be spun on a dime. “Zero-turns” are becoming the norm, because they cut mowing time in half compared to a lawn-tractor, which has to be set up for each mowing-pass.