Le difference

(IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK LIKE I SHOULD MAKE A CANANDAIGUA YMCA CATEGORY)

I’m at the vaunted Canandaigua YMCA yesterday (Friday, May 9, 2008), quietly cranking the arm-bicycle.
The arm-bicycle faces the wall-mounted plasma-babies — one being right in front of me.
The arm-bicycle also faces the row of treadmills, and the ones right in front of me are the new treadmills that have the so-called cardio-theater: the small flat-screen TV you can watch while exercising.
The wall-mounted plasma-babies are always on, silent; and the one right in front is tuned to Channel 13, the local ABC affiliate.
Someone is on a cardio-theater treadmill, and has it tuned to Channel 13 too.
Comparing the two, I can see the difference; easy as pie.
The cardio-theater is the usual small TV screen; about six by eight inches. The plasma-baby is the HD screen, about 2.5 feet wide by maybe 18 inches high — not the usual 3X4 proportions.
The cardio-theater image might be a little squished; like perhaps the image has been squeezed horizontally a little so the one used on HD isn’t so extreme.
Meanwhile, HD is displaying the same image, albeit stretched to fit the screen.
It’s the thing Hairman was describing.
He bought HD TV and went on for a long time about how wonderful it was.
But that was months ago. Just recently we got the real story, about how he thought HD TV was a waste of money.
Mainly because all the broadcast channels were running a picture stretched for HD TV.
And therefore people appeared fat.
I could see it: cardio-theater versus plasma-babies were the same image; except it was stretched horizontally for the plasma-babies.
The noon news-announcer is fat enough on Channel 13, but fatter still on the plasma-baby.
It ain’t too bad, but somewhat noticeable on the plasma-baby.
Hairman says the onliest programs fitted to the HD screen are DVD movies configured for HD TV.
Otherwise he thinks HD TV is a waste of money until the networks start broadcasting an image configured for HD TV.
Well, it looks okay to me — not that fat — but I can see what he’s talking about.
Meanwhile, we continue to run our utterly reprehensible six-by-eight — which doesn’t look squished.

“Plasma-babies” are what my loudmouthed macho brother-in-Boston calls all high-definition wide/flat-screen TVs. Other technologies beside plasma are available, but he calls them all “plasma-babies.”

“Hairman” is my hair-dresser. I’ve gone to him at least 16-17 years. (My macho, loudmouthed brother-from-Boston, who noisily badmouths everything I do or say, excoriates my hair. I shouldn’t be patronizing Hairman; like my brother I should be having my hair trimmed by HairCrafters at $5 a pop, or use my John Deere riding-mower.)

Our TV is a tiny Sony “six-by-eight;” which my loudmouthed brother from Boston finds reprehensible. To me, TV is a waste. My priority is this ‘pyooter. Its monitor is 17 inches wide.