UGH!

UGH!

Photo by Brian Blades.

The March 2008 issue of my Cycle World magazine has a comparison of two GeezerGlides, and one looks abominable (see above).
It ain’t a Harley; it’s a Victory Vision Street.
It’s dreadfully UGLY. Whoever styled this thing seems to have forgotten that a motorcycle is supposed to be spare and rather narrow.
Even Jack’s bloated GeezerGlide looks better — it ain’t trying to look like the Queen Mary.
Motorcycles have gotten wider and wider over the years. The transverse inline four-cylinder engine contributes. It’s like putting a wall behind the front tire. At least parallel twins could be narrow. Better yet is the V-twin: one cylinder behind the other.
Worse yet is an opposed motor, like that in the Gold Wing or the BMW. Oppose the cylinders and the motor becomes wide.
At first the Wing at four cylinders wasn’t too bad, but now at six it’s become a ship. It even has reverse!
But the current Wing ain’t as atrocious as this Vision.
The second picture (below) was the most noticeable. I swear it’s about four feet horizontally across the mirrors, which were included in the bodywork. It doesn’t look like a motorcycle — it looks like a styling exercise done by people that don’t even ride motorcycles.

Photo by Brian Blades.

And that elongated tail is unnatural (see top pik). If I ever saw anything like that, I’d laugh. A Fourth-of-July parade float. This is a motorcycle?
Tilted into a corner, it looks kind of unwieldy. Try to not hit anything! Ride with another, and that person better look out — they’re liable to get scythed.
The picture has the right idea: the Harley is behind. (And you can’t lean a GeezerGlide much. I had to rotate that picture almost 15° clockwise to get the road level.)
Incredible width seems to be the driving paradigm here.
The engine faring looks wide enough to accommodate a transverse Big-Block Chevy.
Just looking you’d never know a V-twin is in there. Since when does one cylinder behind the other need that much encasement?

SWEETHEART

The dreaded Spotmatic.

Prettiest motorbike ever made (as purchased; I got a single-seat for it).

Thankfully the magazine also featured the prettiest motorbike ever made, the Ducati 900SS.
I had one (pictured) and spent more time looking at it than riding it.
It was spare and narrow in the extreme: the exact opposite of the Vision Street.
The Ducati was probably the narrowest motorbike I ever had.
My FZR 400 looked wider (I noticed), and the mighty Kow was even wider still.
My RZ350 was probably lighter, but it sat wider.
My 600RR (the LHMB) is headed in the right direction; smaller and lighter than the mighty Kow (which always seemed too big), about the size of the FZR (the right size, but not the Ducati). —The newest Double-R is smaller still.
The Ducati was frustrating, of course.
It steered like a truck.
I dropped it once trying to turn into our street in Rochester — I was up against the steering-lock.
It also had a kick-starter that kicked me in the calf.
But no way would I ever throw a leg over a Vision.
It looks like it should be encasing a Small-Block Chevy — and even then the styling is overdone.
All I have to do is look at picture number-two: who would ever know it’s a one-track vehicle; put your foot down, or it falls over?
Even Jack’s gigantical GeezerGlide looks better — I humblee predict the Victory Vision Street will never sell.

“GeezerGlide” is what I call all Harley Davidson ElectraGlide cruiser-bikes. My loudmouthed macho brother-in-Boston (“Jack”) has a very laid back Harley Davidson cruiser-bike, and, like most Harley Davidson riders, is 50 years old. So I call it his GeezerGlide.

The Chevrolet “Big-Block” was introduced in the 1965 model-year at 396 cubic-inches. It was made in various displacements: 402, 427 and 454 cubic inches. It’s still made as a truck-motor, but not installed in cars any more; although you can get it as a crate-motor, for self-installation. The Chevrolet “Small-Block” V8 was introduced at 265 cubic-inches displacement in the 1955 model-year. It continued production for years, first at 283 cubic inches, then 327, then 350. Other displacements were also manufactured.

Motorbike #1 was a 1975 850 Norton Commando that drove me crazy; #2 was the Ducati; #3 the RZ350; #4 the Yamaha FZR400, #5 a 1996 600cc Kawasaki ZX6R (“the mighty Kow”), and #6 (my current motorcycle) is my 2003 600cc Honda CBR/RR (the LHMB). —I put over 7,000 miles on the mighty Kow.

“LHMB” is my 2003 Honda 600cc CBR/RR crotch-rocket motorcycle. Seeing a picture of it, my sister-in-Floridy declared “Lord-Have-Mercy;” and my loudmouthed brother-in-Boston, a macho Harley-guy, seeing it was yellow, pronounced it a “Banana.” So LHMB equals Lord-Have-Mercy-Banana.