Photoshop Elements

FROM THE VAUNTED “FOR CRYING OUT LOUD” FOLDER:

-INCIDENT NUMBER-ONE
Okay, I need to update my Photoshop Elements.
PE 2.0 came as part of a bundle that came with my new scanner, and it does all I really ever wanted to do, plus has advantages over my old Photoshop 4.5, since it would thumbnail every pik on a source, and 4.5 wouldn’t.
I could have updated my old 4.5 to the new 7.0 (by now it may be 8.0), but I didn’t need all the tricks PS could do. It’s a professional app — fine for a newspaper, but I ain’t a newspaper.
Why should I spring an extry 500 smackaroos for functions I’ll never use?
So the PE 2.0 was doing all I needed, but now the automatical updates don’t know where to go, so it won’t open. I have to Force-Quit.
So I crank Photoshop Elements into my Google and it brings up a bunch of links, one of which is the Adobe site. (Photoshop is Adobe.)
I fire that up, and “add-to-cart” PE 6.0.
Now, “check out.”
“Do you have an Adobe account? If so, add password.”
I add my password right off the prompt-card I have taped to my monitor.
“Invalid password. Please try again.”
I try again — “Invalid password. Please try again.”
Okay; “reset password.” (PULLING TEETH ALERT!)
“Current password hint: RTS badge.”
That’s what I keep cranking in.
“Would you like to reset?” (PULLING TEETH ALERT!)
I type in my e-mail address, and my old RTS badge-number twice.
“Congratulations! Your password has been successfully reset. Please check your e-mail.”
Trying again, I see PE 6.0 is still in my cart, so I try checking out again.
“Please enter password.”
“Invalid password. Please try again.”
I give up! Call the 800-number. Their stupid site has already wasted a half-hour.

-INCIDENT NUMBER-TWO
I see Adobe has 6.0 for Windoze in my cart. (ALERT!)
I don’t want a Windoze PE; I want MAC.
I peer adroitly at the Adobe site, but I don’t see PE for MAC.
So I crank “Photoshop Elements for MAC” into Google, and it brings up 89 bazilyun hits. (Seems PE for MAC is 4.0.)
I try one and it brings up a glorious display of 89 bazilyun MAC apps, none of which are PE.
Back-button time.
Just call the 800-number, although it’s Pacific time, and I have to wait until afternoon.
Linda cranks “Photoshop Elements for MAC” into Google on her PC, and one of the hits is Amazon.
Okay, I got an Amazon account, but that sounds like a CD instead of a download. Oh well; no biggie. CD in the snail-mail; couple days..........

“Pik” equals “picture.”

RE: “RTS badge......” RTS equals Regional Transit Service, the transit-bus operator in Rochester, NY, where I drove transit-bus for 16&1/2 years. My “badge-number” was my employee-number.......”