“Must be our ISP”

The other night (probably Sunday, September 9, 2007) “Uh-oohh,” from the other room; “‘we are updating this feature.’ I can’t get on.”
“Well, I’m boomin’-and-zoomin’,” I said.
Linda comes out and looks at my rig. I have FlagOut on; so I quit Netscape.
I know firing up Netscape again will bring up the FlagOut log-in page, which is my Netscape home-page. (The Curve web-cam is my FireFox home-page.)
Boom; Netscape throws up the FlagOut log-in page, and Zoom; I click the “Dr. Loo” link and it immediately fires up FlagOut.
“How come you can get in and I can’t?” Linda asks.
“Well, I ain’t usin’ Internet Explorer,” I say.
“What was that window you just quit?”
“Netscape. I hardly ever use IE. I only use it for online purchases. FlagOut is Netscape.”
“Must be our ISP,” I said; although I can’t see how, since we both use the same ISP.
But it has to be. After all, everything that goes wrong is due to our ISP.
That valve-stem on our zero-turn sheared off because of our ISP.
The shower-valve broke because of our ISP.
Linda has cancer because of the ISP.
The greatest tenor of all time wasn’t Luciano Pavarotti; it was Internet Explorer.

RE: “we are updating this feature....” is a window our family web-site, which is based in Utah, throws up when it’s overloaded and can’t process a request.

“Linda” is my wife.

“FlagOut” is our family’s web-site, named that because I had a mentally-retarded kid-brother (Down Syndrome) who lived at home, and loudly insisted the flag be flown every day. “Flag-Out! Sun comes up, the flag goes up! Sun goes down, the flag comes down.” I fly the flag partly in his honor. (He died at 14 in 1968.)

The Curve (“Horseshoe Curve;” the “mighty Curve,”) west of Altoona, Pennsylvania, is by far the BEST railfan spot I have ever been to. Horseshoe Curve is a national historic site. It was a trick used by the Pennsylvania Railroad to get over the Allegheny mountains without steep grades. Horseshoe Curve was opened in 1854, and is still in use. It has a web-cam.

“Dr. Loo” is my handle on FlagOut.

“ISP” equals Internet-Service-Provider. My loudmouthed macho brother-from-Boston blamed my ISP for wonky Internet performance here on his laptop. Our ISP is RoadRunner cable, and I don’t have the problems he had.

Our “zero-turn” is our 48-inch Husqvarna riding-mower; “zero-turn” because it’s a special design with separate drives to each drive-wheel, so it can be spun on a dime. “Zero-turns” are becoming the norm, because they cut mowing time in half compared to a lawn-tractor. I had a valve-stud shear off on a front tire.

RE: “The greatest tenor of all time wasn’t Luciano Pavarotti.......” I was loudly excoriated for saying Pavarotti was the greatest tenor of all time. If I say anything at all was “the greatest whatever of all time,” I get loudly excoriated by my all-knowing siblings.