Puh-leeze!

“AHEM!”¯

—“Mark, is there any way I can delete these buxom ‘friend-suggestions’ from my laptop Facebook?”
Thankfully, they’re not on my iPhone Facebook, not yet anyway.
Just the other day each “friend-suggestion” had an “X” which vaporized the “friend-suggestion.”
I’d see some chesty vixen in my “friend-suggestions.” “Oh for Heaven sake!” Followed by zapp! GONE!
Sanctity and order restored!
Last night no Xs on a deluge of scantily-clad hotties (pictured above).
“Now what?” I probably fired up a few sluts by mistake in my feeble attempts to delete.
“Goodie; that Hughes guy is firing up our slatterns.
We got one Mark!”
“Hit him with more. He’s a dirty-old-man!”
“Mark, you’re barking up the wrong tree” — although they’re probably fake accounts. “Friend” something that poisons my computer?
“No way José!”
I think of two of my actual lady-friends. Neither are well-endowed. Both are rather flat.
But when they smile at me I am smitten!
One is old enough to be a grandmother, but here she comes. She wants to talk with me, ergo she wants to hang out with me. (“She’s faking it!”)
The other is a tiny little thing. She probably weighs less than 100 pounds.
Two children so far. I’m always amazed, and I told her.
If either of these two smile at me, and their eyes tell me — we’re wearing masks — I am DONE!
That indicates they enjoy my company, which counters “No pretty lady will enjoy your company, Bobby! You are EVIL and disgusting!”
That second lady-friend jumps away from her workstation, smiles, and comes to talk with me. (“NOPE!”)
Mark and his busty tarts get avoided.
Maybe if he lobbed smilers at me I’d be tempted.
But even they wouldn’t be my actual lady-friends, and I have quite a few.
And they’re all smilers. Many are flat as a board!

• “Mark” is Mark Zuckerberg, founder and head-honcho of Facebook.
• “Evil and disgusting” is a legacy of my childhood, convinced of that at age 5 by Bible-thumping zealots.
• “All I need is one of your smiles, Sunshine of your eyes, oh, me, oh, my…..” —Scotch and Soda, The Kingston Trio, 1958.