It’s all new to this kid

—“70 years late,” I tell my bereavement-counselor; “I discover people who like me.”
This counters “Nobody will like you, Bobby! You are abhorrent!”
And most are girls. (GASP!)
My aquacise-instructor at Canandaigua’s YMCA swimming-pool suggested I strike up conversations with men as much as I do girls.
“I tried,” I told her; “and it rarely works.
Men get defensive, or start hurling that macho-crap atcha.
I strike up a conversation with a couple along some rail-trail, and the one who starts talking to me is the wife. From the husband I get silence: ‘what’s she talking to him for?’
I tell a joke to some couple, and the one who laughs is the girl. The guy gets upset. “No fair! He made her laugh!”
The other day I tried to strike up a conversation with an older gentleman in my supermarket parking lot. He about took my head off!”
Women don’t do that. Strike up a conversation with a female, and they like the fact you’re attracted to them enough to strike up a conversation.
At this point my critics tell me I think too much; that I over-analyze events which to them would be normal; talking for example.
For me just talking to anybody, women especially, would be utterly unimaginable.
“Nobody will wanna talk to you! Just keep to yourself!” (My brother calls that shyness.)
And mere talking to women was sinful.
“All males, including you at age 5, are EVIL and salacious!”
Now I find my upbringing was ALL WRONG! And talking to people, especially women, is extremely pleasant.
So pleasant I conjure up imaginary discussions, or opening lines that attract talking with ladies.
“I remember you. You look familiar.”
Works like a charm.
The lady is attracted by the fact she attracted me enough to say something to her.
She especially likes that I recognized her.
“Are you who I think you might be?”
POW! Off we go!
Talking with anyone, women especially, is all new to this kid.