“Unannounced and unexplained”

Yrs Trly, despite advancing age, has a Facebook.
I don’t do much with it, unlike my younger siblings. Although one sibling refuses to have one. His wife does.
I consider the fact I have one the result of a Facebook fast-one. “In order to befriend someone, you have to have a Facebook of your own.”
Little knowing the import of that, I inadvertently set up my own Facebook. It suggested “friends.” I befriended many Messenger newspaper contacts, most of whom never amounted to anything.
That was years ago, when Facebook was fairly simple. now it’s so complicated, it would take years to fully understand.
Most of my Messenger “friends” have since been unfriended. How I did this I have no idea.
My siblings began using Facebook to communicate. Some time ago my nephew and his wife had a baby, and I never knew about it for three months. E-mail, telephone: no. Facebook only, so being an old geezer it’s my fault. Announcement was probably in my news-feed. But since I rarely look at it, dark for you, baby!
Did my non-Facebook brother know? Probably. His Facebook wife would tell him. My wife probably accessed that feed too, but she’s gone. The fact I rarely fire up Facebook makes me rebellious and stupid.
My own Facebook profile-page displays 89 bazilyun “friend” suggestions, most with one “mutual friend.” That’s probably my Rochester niece’s daughter, who seems to have “friended” the entire population of north Jersey.
Well, maybe not. But at least all the scantily-clad soap vixens from daytime TV. Probably not, but most I don’t know.
I have 59 Facebook “friends.” Not many, about the same number as my actual friends. Among these Facebook “friends” are people I never hear from. Maybe they’ve shut me out — however that is done. But I’m more inclined to think many walked away from their Facebooks.
My wife died six years ago and my sister died before her. Both their Facebooks are still going.
So, how do I “unfriend” contacts I never hear from? I got better things to do, but I fired up YouTube for videos about “Facebook unfriend.”
I fired one up the other night; I haven’t “unfriended” anyone yet. Yada-yada-yada-yada, then “this video was made in 2012,” the instructor said; “and we all know how Facebook likes to change things” (“unannounced and unexplained,” I add. After which you figger it out: = “try-it-and-see-what-happens”).
I could tell stories: e.g. Facebook ads with balloon-breasted hussies targeted to my profile-page all because my age makes me a “dirty-old-man.”
One Facebook “friend” suggestion came after Suckerbird and his cronies secretly plumbed my iPhone contact-list. A while ago I tried to find the Facebook of a high-school female classmate. I got acres of deep cleavage clearly not my classmate. Was that a result of Facebook’s many slut wannabees, or targeted friend suggestions because of my age?
“I’m not into Facebook,” a real friend says.
Two of my college-graduate friends also refuse to have Facebooks. “Real friends are much better,” they say. I agree.
An actual friend suggests Facebook is for those lacking a life. Since when do 4,000 Facebook “friends” constitute worth?
My non-Facebook brother may have the better idea.

• The “Messenger newspaper” is the Canandaigua Daily-Messenger, from where I retired over 12 years ago. Best job I ever had — I was employed there almost 10 years — over 11 if you count my time as a post-stroke unpaid intern. (I had a stroke October 26th, 1993, from which I recovered fairly well.) (“Canandaigua” is a small city nearby where I live in Western NY. The city is also within a rural town called “Canandaigua.” The name is Indian, and means “Chosen Spot.” —It’s about 14 miles away.)
• My wife died of cancer April 17th, 2012. I still miss her. She was the best friend I ever had.