Ease up Suckerbird!

“Facebook went through yer smartphone’s contact-list,” said my niece yesterday during an eat-out.
Yrs Trly has a Facebook. I don’t do much with it; more like put up with it.
It’s frozen this computer, although not recently.
The fact I have one is due to a fast-one on their part. I’d dump it, but too many of my actual friends use Facebook to communicate.
The other day I fired up Facebook, probably from one of their e-mail notifications.
Per usual were a row of Facebook “Friend” suggestions, complete strangers who happen to be “mutual friends.”
Except for one, my aquatic therapy coach at the Canandaigua YMCA.
“Whither?” I wondered.
No “mutual friends.”
Oh, what the Heck! I sent her a “Friend” request. She’d be number 57.
Then I wondered how Facebook knew to suggest her.
SNOOP ALERT! They’re following my every move.
They probably even know I’m writing this blog.
I ordered Puffed Kamut Cereal online from Amazon, and within seconds Facebook was exhorting me to do it again.
They also decided at age 73 I’m a dirty old man. Right-side ads expose maximum cleavage.
“Okay, makes sense,” I said to my niece.
“I got Facebook-for-iPhone a month-or-two ago, and that aquacise coach is in my contacts — I don’t remember why.
So it sounds like Facebook trolled my contact-list.”
People are upset with The Donald.
Worse yet would be Zuckerberg.

• “Suckerbird” is Facebook head-honcho Mark Zuckerberg.