“All I’m tryin’ to do is order doggie vitamins”
....I thought to myself, as I attempted to order online from Nature’s Farmacy.
“You make it so difficult I’m tempted to forget it. Ordering online shouldn’t take this long!”
I have a dog. I put a vitamin-powder on her evening meal; something my late wife used to do.
For that I get a vitamin-enriched dog, merrily pulling me to the ground in pursuit of perceived critters.
I fell on the ice last February messing up my left knee. My dog has pulled me to the ground so many times since, my knee still bothers.
The vitamin-powder is about empty, so I set it aside to reorder online from Nature’s Farmacy.
I have Nature’s Farmacy in my computer as a “Dog Stuff” bookmark.
“Welcome to the new ‘Nature’s Farmacy’ website. We’re still Nature’s Farmacy, but we’re still working with our new website.”
“Uh-ohhhh........”
I cranked the vitamin-powder into their search-window. It’s called “Ultimate.”
Every Ultimate vitamin offering came up, from eight ounces to 10 pounds. I only needed a pound-container, which wasn’t there.
I poked around, and a pound offering showed up.
But nothing was “Add-to-Cart.”
Okay, put aside purchase. Call 800-number the next day to order by phone.
“Click on the ‘One-Pound’ title. It’s a live link; it may not look live, but it is. It goes to a page with ‘Add-to-Cart’ on it. You can order online.”
And so it did. So far about 20 minutes have passed since beginning to try to reorder, phone-call and my previous attempt.
Third Attempt: I clicked the “One-Pound” heading, and got directed to the “One-Pound” page.
“Add-to-Cart.”
Flying blind here. No checkout, but “View Cart.”
I did so, and there’s the checkout button.
I clicked that.
“To check out, please log in or register.”
“WHAT?
I gotta register just to check out? Where’s the ‘checkout as guest?’”
Not there.
Okay, register. “All I’m tryin’ to do is reorder something, and you’re making me jump through hoops.”
I clicked the “Register” button, and got the usual name-address-email-phone stuff, but they also wanted “profile information.”
Again, “WHAT?”
“I’m 69 years old and widowed,” I entered. “I’m a widower. I have a dog.”
I thought later what I should have said was “Are you kidding? What does this have to do with my reordering something? What, pray tell, do you need a ‘customer-profile’ for?”
“Some web-designer is trying to pad their resumé,” I thought.
So far 40 minutes have passed.
With this kind of foolishness Nature’s Farmacy will lose sales.
Or will they?
Most of Nature’s Farmacy’s customers are Facebookers, not oldsters like me.
They need that silly profile in the Nature’s Farmacy database to give their life meaning and credence.
• My beloved wife of over 44 years died of cancer April 17th, 2012. At the time she was 68. I miss her dearly. (I’m now 69.)
“You make it so difficult I’m tempted to forget it. Ordering online shouldn’t take this long!”
I have a dog. I put a vitamin-powder on her evening meal; something my late wife used to do.
For that I get a vitamin-enriched dog, merrily pulling me to the ground in pursuit of perceived critters.
I fell on the ice last February messing up my left knee. My dog has pulled me to the ground so many times since, my knee still bothers.
The vitamin-powder is about empty, so I set it aside to reorder online from Nature’s Farmacy.
I have Nature’s Farmacy in my computer as a “Dog Stuff” bookmark.
“Welcome to the new ‘Nature’s Farmacy’ website. We’re still Nature’s Farmacy, but we’re still working with our new website.”
“Uh-ohhhh........”
I cranked the vitamin-powder into their search-window. It’s called “Ultimate.”
Every Ultimate vitamin offering came up, from eight ounces to 10 pounds. I only needed a pound-container, which wasn’t there.
I poked around, and a pound offering showed up.
But nothing was “Add-to-Cart.”
Okay, put aside purchase. Call 800-number the next day to order by phone.
“Click on the ‘One-Pound’ title. It’s a live link; it may not look live, but it is. It goes to a page with ‘Add-to-Cart’ on it. You can order online.”
And so it did. So far about 20 minutes have passed since beginning to try to reorder, phone-call and my previous attempt.
Third Attempt: I clicked the “One-Pound” heading, and got directed to the “One-Pound” page.
“Add-to-Cart.”
Flying blind here. No checkout, but “View Cart.”
I did so, and there’s the checkout button.
I clicked that.
“To check out, please log in or register.”
“WHAT?
I gotta register just to check out? Where’s the ‘checkout as guest?’”
Not there.
Okay, register. “All I’m tryin’ to do is reorder something, and you’re making me jump through hoops.”
I clicked the “Register” button, and got the usual name-address-email-phone stuff, but they also wanted “profile information.”
Again, “WHAT?”
“I’m 69 years old and widowed,” I entered. “I’m a widower. I have a dog.”
I thought later what I should have said was “Are you kidding? What does this have to do with my reordering something? What, pray tell, do you need a ‘customer-profile’ for?”
“Some web-designer is trying to pad their resumé,” I thought.
So far 40 minutes have passed.
With this kind of foolishness Nature’s Farmacy will lose sales.
Or will they?
Most of Nature’s Farmacy’s customers are Facebookers, not oldsters like me.
They need that silly profile in the Nature’s Farmacy database to give their life meaning and credence.
• My beloved wife of over 44 years died of cancer April 17th, 2012. At the time she was 68. I miss her dearly. (I’m now 69.)
posted by BobbaLew at 2:58 PM
2 Comments:
What they are doing is LEARNING from Facebook. Your profile info, with or without your identity info, ISP, email, etc., WILL BE SOLD to marketing data trackers who will record what all you 60+ widowers look at, and purchase, so that they can make money using that info when they sell ad-sense services to other online businesses. If they've got good programmers they'll also correlate ads "designed to appeal" to your ISP so be prepared for more doggie vitamin ads, and maybe some geezer vitamins for yourself as well.
Welcome to the Brave New World.
Facebook for you, CG.
Post a Comment
<< Home