Wal*Mart
Yesterday (Friday, December 10, 2010) I happened to patronize the Mighty Wal*Mart SuperStore in nearby Canandaigua.
This was despite my not liking Wal*Mart, which my siblings all loudly tell me is the greatest store in the entire known universe, so I’m of-the-Devil for not shopping there.
There are two reasons I don’t like it:
—1) Is that it’s inconvenient.
Wal*Mart didn’t get to do its own entrance off a main drag, so shares an entrance with Mighty Lowes.
You have to drive all around Robin-Hood’s barn to get to Wal*Mart.
It also is about a mile-and-a-half beyond the Canandaigua Wegmans supermarket, a store I know, so shop at often.
Grocery shopping is a frequent affair. I shop Wegmans 2-3 times per week.
Wegmans discounts their milk (Shoppers Club), and their fruit is usually better.
Their selection is more eclectic. There are things I can only buy at Wegmans.
So Wal*Mart is an additional trip.
But Wegmans doesn’t sell telephones, and I needed a telephone.
So out to Wal*Mart, where I’d bought a previous phone.
—2) I’ve had two negative shopping experiences at Wal*Mart.
-a) Once I was hugged by a urine-smelling geezer-greeter as I entered the store.
-b) Once I was snapped at by two store-associates for interrupting their day-long donut-break by having the awful temerity and unmitigated gall and horrific audacity to dare ask where something was.
So into the store I went.
A semi-crippled military veteran mumbled something at me as I walked in. Soliciting donations, I guess.
A Salvation-Army bell-ringer was also outside, but I managed to get by without being waylaid.
I was greeted by a giant humming video-display hawking wares; “Shop Wal*Mart, the meaning of life.”
So began my long search for telephones in the gigantic store.
Audio blared at me.
“Cash-registers ring; are ya liss-nin’?
We’re happy tonight, walkin’ through Wal*Mart.
Don’t leave our store empty-handed.”
My wandering search for telephones lasted at least 15-20 minutes. I dared not ask anyone, for fear of interrupting their day-long donut-break.
A foreign lady with a navy “ask me” teeshirt was stacking crock-pots.
At least she was in kitchen-wares.
I managed to find Electronics, where I had found telephones before.
But it wasn’t the Electronics Section I had seen earlier.
89 bazilyun Sponge-Bobs were yelling in unison, from a wall lined with giant plasma-babies.
A grizzled country-boy in greasy dungarees was silently contemplating the plasma-babies — perhaps a present for his drunken Harley-momma.
Finally I stumbled upon telephones, but behind the computer gizmos, and gleaming BlueTooth earpieces.
There wasn’t much selection of telephones, despite my being loudly told by my siblings “Wal*Mart has everything!”
All were wireless, and some had multiple handsets.
Wireless yes, but I only need one handset.
I took the cheapest one from store-stock; it looked adequate.
I hope it works better than our roulette-scale; also from Wal*Mart.
The roulette-scale is all-over-the-map.
It’s electronic, but renders body-weights five pounds different each time.
I’ve given up on it.
The scale I go by is the medical-scale at the Canandaigua YMCA.
I figured I’d check out their grocery section, and thereby avoid shopping Wegmans.
But their bananas looked horrible — 89 bazilyun rotting bananas.
I passed boxes of Froot-Loops and Cocoa-Puffs with luridly grinning cartoon bunny-rabbits trumpeting “Minimum Daily Requirement.”
Of what? Sugar?
Everything seemed sugar-coated.
Sugar overload is also available at Wegmans, but seems to be off to the side — apart from the healthy choices.
Wal*Mart doesn’t have funky-foods, yet Wegmans does.
47¢ a pound for rotten Wal*Mart bananas; 49¢ a pound at Wegmans, non-rotten. —I should burn $5 of gas to save perhaps 4¢?
But of course, Wegmans doesn’t sell telephones — or does it?
I walked out of Wal*Mart with a telephone.
• “Canandaigua” (“cannan-DAY-gwuh”) is a small city nearby where we live in Western NY. The city is also within a rural town called “Canandaigua.” The name is Indian, and means “Chosen Spot.” —It’s about 15 miles away.
• “Mighty Lowes” is the Lowes hardware and home-supply. They also have a big-box store in Canandaigua.
• “Wegmans” is a large supermarket-chain based in Rochester we often buy groceries at. They have a store in Canandaigua.
• “Plasma-babies” are what my loudmouthed macho brother-from-Boston calls all high-definition wide/flat-screen TVs. Other technologies beside plasma are available, but he calls them all “plasma-babies.”
• I work out in the Canandaigua YMCA exercise-gym, usually 2-3 times per week.
• “Funky-foods” are so-called natural foods.
• Wegmans has stepped up to marketing everything; perhaps even telephones.
This was despite my not liking Wal*Mart, which my siblings all loudly tell me is the greatest store in the entire known universe, so I’m of-the-Devil for not shopping there.
There are two reasons I don’t like it:
—1) Is that it’s inconvenient.
Wal*Mart didn’t get to do its own entrance off a main drag, so shares an entrance with Mighty Lowes.
You have to drive all around Robin-Hood’s barn to get to Wal*Mart.
It also is about a mile-and-a-half beyond the Canandaigua Wegmans supermarket, a store I know, so shop at often.
Grocery shopping is a frequent affair. I shop Wegmans 2-3 times per week.
Wegmans discounts their milk (Shoppers Club), and their fruit is usually better.
Their selection is more eclectic. There are things I can only buy at Wegmans.
So Wal*Mart is an additional trip.
But Wegmans doesn’t sell telephones, and I needed a telephone.
So out to Wal*Mart, where I’d bought a previous phone.
—2) I’ve had two negative shopping experiences at Wal*Mart.
-a) Once I was hugged by a urine-smelling geezer-greeter as I entered the store.
-b) Once I was snapped at by two store-associates for interrupting their day-long donut-break by having the awful temerity and unmitigated gall and horrific audacity to dare ask where something was.
So into the store I went.
A semi-crippled military veteran mumbled something at me as I walked in. Soliciting donations, I guess.
A Salvation-Army bell-ringer was also outside, but I managed to get by without being waylaid.
I was greeted by a giant humming video-display hawking wares; “Shop Wal*Mart, the meaning of life.”
So began my long search for telephones in the gigantic store.
Audio blared at me.
“Cash-registers ring; are ya liss-nin’?
We’re happy tonight, walkin’ through Wal*Mart.
Don’t leave our store empty-handed.”
My wandering search for telephones lasted at least 15-20 minutes. I dared not ask anyone, for fear of interrupting their day-long donut-break.
A foreign lady with a navy “ask me” teeshirt was stacking crock-pots.
At least she was in kitchen-wares.
I managed to find Electronics, where I had found telephones before.
But it wasn’t the Electronics Section I had seen earlier.
89 bazilyun Sponge-Bobs were yelling in unison, from a wall lined with giant plasma-babies.
A grizzled country-boy in greasy dungarees was silently contemplating the plasma-babies — perhaps a present for his drunken Harley-momma.
Finally I stumbled upon telephones, but behind the computer gizmos, and gleaming BlueTooth earpieces.
There wasn’t much selection of telephones, despite my being loudly told by my siblings “Wal*Mart has everything!”
All were wireless, and some had multiple handsets.
Wireless yes, but I only need one handset.
I took the cheapest one from store-stock; it looked adequate.
I hope it works better than our roulette-scale; also from Wal*Mart.
The roulette-scale is all-over-the-map.
It’s electronic, but renders body-weights five pounds different each time.
I’ve given up on it.
The scale I go by is the medical-scale at the Canandaigua YMCA.
I figured I’d check out their grocery section, and thereby avoid shopping Wegmans.
But their bananas looked horrible — 89 bazilyun rotting bananas.
I passed boxes of Froot-Loops and Cocoa-Puffs with luridly grinning cartoon bunny-rabbits trumpeting “Minimum Daily Requirement.”
Of what? Sugar?
Everything seemed sugar-coated.
Sugar overload is also available at Wegmans, but seems to be off to the side — apart from the healthy choices.
Wal*Mart doesn’t have funky-foods, yet Wegmans does.
47¢ a pound for rotten Wal*Mart bananas; 49¢ a pound at Wegmans, non-rotten. —I should burn $5 of gas to save perhaps 4¢?
But of course, Wegmans doesn’t sell telephones — or does it?
I walked out of Wal*Mart with a telephone.
• “Canandaigua” (“cannan-DAY-gwuh”) is a small city nearby where we live in Western NY. The city is also within a rural town called “Canandaigua.” The name is Indian, and means “Chosen Spot.” —It’s about 15 miles away.
• “Mighty Lowes” is the Lowes hardware and home-supply. They also have a big-box store in Canandaigua.
• “Wegmans” is a large supermarket-chain based in Rochester we often buy groceries at. They have a store in Canandaigua.
• “Plasma-babies” are what my loudmouthed macho brother-from-Boston calls all high-definition wide/flat-screen TVs. Other technologies beside plasma are available, but he calls them all “plasma-babies.”
• I work out in the Canandaigua YMCA exercise-gym, usually 2-3 times per week.
• “Funky-foods” are so-called natural foods.
• Wegmans has stepped up to marketing everything; perhaps even telephones.
posted by BobbaLew at 11:29 AM
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