Mother Sawyer
We hardly watch TV at all.
Our equipment reflects that.
Just a tiny Dynex flat-screen, only about 14 inches diagonal.
Dynex is BestBuy's store brand.
It's driven by cable, Time Warner, via our cable-ready VCR.
Time Warner also supplies our Internet, where our money is.
We spend way more time on our computers, which have displays that make our TV look trashy.
And our Dynex was a step back from our CRT screen.
It looks like mud, lacking sharpness.
The display on this laptop is razor-sharp.
So sharp I might start viewing TV through it.
We don't watch “Extreme Home Mayhem,” to see what insanity that wild-haired dude has come up with this week to destroy the house he's gonna replace.
Or what the decorator guy has come up with.
I remember him decorating a room to look like a huge piano keyboard, and their tearing down the house with a bellowing unmuffled monster-truck.
I have yet to hear of them torching the house, or blasting it with napalm.
Nor have I heard of them nuking the house.
(Cue Enola Gay.)
A friend I once worked with at the mighty Mezz wondered about Extreme Home Mayhem.
“How do the owners pay their tax-bill after Pennington and his lackeys leave?” he asked.
Nor do we watch “Dancing with the Tarts,” with leggy girls who never seem to be able to finish their attire.
We haven't followed the Kate Gosselin train-wreck, except in the tabloids at the supermarket checkout.
We also don't follow “Lost,” wherein despite GPS transponders, the airline passengers are still lost.
And despite their being lost for years, that fat kid has never lost any weight.
We also don't watch “Grey's Anatomy,” which seems to be a nighttime reprise of General Hospital.
After my stroke I was in various hospitals for a long time, and I don't recall intrigues and steamy trysts like on Grey's Anatomy.
What I remember is demanding the nurses take my meal-tray back to replace the 2% with skim, which I had ordered.
It wasn't who's bedding whom.
We also don't watch “Desperate for Ratings,” where if women were anything like that, my marriage wouldn't have lasted 42+ years.
The only TV we watch is the evening news — which we record for playback later.
And that isn't what it was.....
Even good old Charlie Gibson retired, replaced by “Mother Sawyer.”
The other night, Elizabeth Vargas stood in for Mother Sawyer.
“I'm sorry,” I said. “But I can stand this lady better than Mother Sawyer.”
And that's despite “You too can weigh in on this topic at ABCNews-dot-com.”
• “CRT” is cathode-ray-tube, what TVs were before flat-screens.
• “We” is me and my wife of 42+ years, “Linda.”
• The “mighty Mezz” is the Canandaigua Daily-Messenger newspaper, from where I retired over four years ago. Best job I ever had. (“Canandaigua” [“cannon-DAY-gwuh”] is a small city nearby where we live in Western NY. The city is also within a rural town called “Canandaigua.” The name is Indian, and means “Chosen Spot.” —It’s about 15 miles away.)
• I had a stroke October 26, 1993.
Our equipment reflects that.
Just a tiny Dynex flat-screen, only about 14 inches diagonal.
Dynex is BestBuy's store brand.
It's driven by cable, Time Warner, via our cable-ready VCR.
Time Warner also supplies our Internet, where our money is.
We spend way more time on our computers, which have displays that make our TV look trashy.
And our Dynex was a step back from our CRT screen.
It looks like mud, lacking sharpness.
The display on this laptop is razor-sharp.
So sharp I might start viewing TV through it.
We don't watch “Extreme Home Mayhem,” to see what insanity that wild-haired dude has come up with this week to destroy the house he's gonna replace.
Or what the decorator guy has come up with.
I remember him decorating a room to look like a huge piano keyboard, and their tearing down the house with a bellowing unmuffled monster-truck.
I have yet to hear of them torching the house, or blasting it with napalm.
Nor have I heard of them nuking the house.
(Cue Enola Gay.)
A friend I once worked with at the mighty Mezz wondered about Extreme Home Mayhem.
“How do the owners pay their tax-bill after Pennington and his lackeys leave?” he asked.
Nor do we watch “Dancing with the Tarts,” with leggy girls who never seem to be able to finish their attire.
We haven't followed the Kate Gosselin train-wreck, except in the tabloids at the supermarket checkout.
We also don't follow “Lost,” wherein despite GPS transponders, the airline passengers are still lost.
And despite their being lost for years, that fat kid has never lost any weight.
We also don't watch “Grey's Anatomy,” which seems to be a nighttime reprise of General Hospital.
After my stroke I was in various hospitals for a long time, and I don't recall intrigues and steamy trysts like on Grey's Anatomy.
What I remember is demanding the nurses take my meal-tray back to replace the 2% with skim, which I had ordered.
It wasn't who's bedding whom.
We also don't watch “Desperate for Ratings,” where if women were anything like that, my marriage wouldn't have lasted 42+ years.
The only TV we watch is the evening news — which we record for playback later.
And that isn't what it was.....
Even good old Charlie Gibson retired, replaced by “Mother Sawyer.”
The other night, Elizabeth Vargas stood in for Mother Sawyer.
“I'm sorry,” I said. “But I can stand this lady better than Mother Sawyer.”
And that's despite “You too can weigh in on this topic at ABCNews-dot-com.”
• “CRT” is cathode-ray-tube, what TVs were before flat-screens.
• “We” is me and my wife of 42+ years, “Linda.”
• The “mighty Mezz” is the Canandaigua Daily-Messenger newspaper, from where I retired over four years ago. Best job I ever had. (“Canandaigua” [“cannon-DAY-gwuh”] is a small city nearby where we live in Western NY. The city is also within a rural town called “Canandaigua.” The name is Indian, and means “Chosen Spot.” —It’s about 15 miles away.)
• I had a stroke October 26, 1993.
posted by BobbaLew at 6:15 PM
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