“What it needs is a reboot button”

We have an electric blanket on our bed.
We don’t leave it on all night.
In fact, all we do is plug it in full blast each night to prewarm our bed so it isn’t ice-cold at bed-time.
This is electric blanket number two.
Number one wore out; that is, the blanket itself began to disintegrate.
Number one was fairly simple to operate; just plug it in and turn it on.
Number two is computerized, the bane of recent civilization.
This means it can perform random and unexplainable acts.
Like our cellphones, which usually play music when they shut off, but sometimes don’t.
(Seems like they were always supposed to play music.)
Or our combination VCR/DVR which sometimes does continuous rewind without the rewind button.
Or my computer monitor which doesn’t go to sleep, and renders the ‘pyooter’s “Lucy-in-the-Sky-With-Diamonds” sleep display.
Usually the monitor sleeps first; or at least it’s supposed to.
I also have a printer that sometimes throws a hissy-fit. It -a) does an “error” lockup on fire-up, or -b) refuses to print anything unless I “choose” it under 9.2.
OS-X has a generic print-driver that usually drives my printer, but sometimes it’s inoperative.

So I plug in the electric blanket, and wick up the temperature on Linda’s side.
There is a small computer-mouse-like controller for each side, with —1) an on-off button, and —2) a button for ramping up the temperature.
Okay, move to my side: on; then ramp up temperature.
Ramped up, the temperature immediately steps back down.
“No wonder my side was cold last night,” I think.
I ramp it back up; right back down.
“Who programmed this thing? Microsoft?”
Okay, pull plug; start over.
Up and then down.
“What it needs is a reboot button,” Linda says.
“I’m trying to do that, pulling the plug,” I say.
Plug back in; up and then back down.
Finally after my third try, it holds the upper temperature and doesn’t step back down.
Explain that, people! (“It’s a miracle, Bobby!”)

“We” is myself and my wife of 41 years, “Linda.”

“Combination VCR/DVR” is a video cassette and/or DVD recorder, combined in one unit.

“9.2 and OS-X” are Apple-Computer operating systems. 9.2 was earlier; OS-X the most recent. My OS-X has 9.2 incorporated in it as “classic-mode.” It still has my 9.2 printer-driver. —I use my AppleWorks-5 word-processor; since AppleWorks-6 (for OS-X) lacks macros. It’s a so-called “classic application;” but I have a bunch of others. (OS-X “Leopard,” the most recent OS-X upgrade, no longer has the “classic-mode;” so mine is “Tiger.”)

“Who programmed this thing? Microsoft?” is a put-down. The scuttlebutt among Apple-geeks is that Microsoft is inferior. My siblings all use Microsoft Windows computers, but since I use an Apple Macintosh, I’m reprehensible and stupid.

A “reboot button” is for restarting your computer. Some of the Macintosh towers at the Messenger newspaper (from where I retired three years ago), had “reboot buttons;” a button that did the equivalent of pulling the plug, and plugging it back in. A “boot-up” is to fire up one’s computer.

“It’s a miracle, Bobby!” is something my born-again Christian mother said regarding answers to her prayers. —I once had a John Deere riding lawnmower I had to cut the battery-cable on, so I couldn’t use it. I kept hoping for a miracle, but had to fix it myself.