“The Best Snowblower Money Can Buy”

Billy, the onliest child of our recently deceased 94 year old nosy neighbor, has been living alone in their house across the street.
He got a new snowblower, a John Deere. And yesterday morning (Thursday, January 29, 2009) he blew out his driveway after our recent snowstorm.
He bought his new blower because he was impressed with my so-called “Jap crap,” “the best snowblower money can buy.”
“That snowblower of yours throws snow 40 feet!” he said. “Wheredja buy it?”
So he bought his John Deere, promised by the salesman it would throw snow 40 feet.
Blowing out his driveway it threw snow about 10 feet.
So he came over yesterday afternoon, as I was putting away my so-called “Jap Crap,” after blasting a two-foot snowdrift 40 feet across our lawn.
I don’t think his blower is as big as mine, but it’s close.
“That new blower is only throwing snow about 10 feet,” he wailed.
“Well,” I thought to myself; “ya didn’t buy the best snowblower money can buy.”
Just lash that Bobbie-pin machine to your GeezerGlide, Boobie; and we’ll go at it: mano-a-mano.

My all-knowing, blowhard brother-from-Boston, the macho ad-hominem king, who noisily badmouths everything I do or say, refers to my snowblower, made by Honda, as “Jap crap.”

RE: “The best snowblower money can buy......” —A few years ago I went to a small-engine dealer to buy a snowblower attachment for a lawn-tractor. The salesman counseled against it, saying the snowblower I already owned was “the best snowblower money can buy.” (I keep lobbing that at my loudmouthed brother-from-Boston, who loudly claims my snowblower is inferior to his.)

RE: “Just lash that Bobbie-pin machine to your GeezerGlide, Boobie; and we’ll go at it: mano-a-mano......” —My blowhard brother-from-Boston (“Boobie”) noisily claims his Ariens snowblower is vastly superior to mine, and his blower needed minor repairs, which he did with “Bobbie-pins.” “GeezerGlide” is what I call all Harley Davidson ElectraGlide cruiser-bikes. My brother-from-Boston has a very laid back Harley Davidson cruiser-bike, and, like many Harley Davidson riders, is over 50 (51). So I call it his GeezerGlide. He also badmouths me as the oldest — he’s 13 years younger.