Just me and the dog
“Back to a big empty house,” I said through tears, as I motored placidly west on Routes 5&20 toward my home in West Bloomfield.
I was returning from what I think was grief-share number six.
I’ve only been to this series of grief-shares, because it has the advantage of being nearby.
It’s only about 25 minutes away. Others are farther. Another is 45 minutes away, and the many in Rochester are at least 55 minutes away, and that’s just to Rochester’s southern border.
45 minutes one-way is too far. That’s abandoning the dog in the house one-and-a-half hours just for travel-time. 25 minutes each way is only almost an hour total.
The grief-share is about two-and-a-half hours. The dog is abandoned in the house about three-and-a-half hours.
That’s not too bad. I don’t like to exceed four hours.
The house is not entirely empty. My dog would be waiting inside.
My wife died four months ago, so it’s just me and the dog.
I related at this grief-share how going to bed every night is no problem. Things seem to make sense and seem normal.
I’m told this is often not the case. That the bereaved often can’t sleep.
But I don’t seem to have that problem. What’s hard is every morning.
It’s the same old waazoo, just me and the dog.
My beloved wife of 44 years is GONE.
And she’s not coming back, much as I still feel she is.
That’s factually obvious, of course. Her ashes are out under the sugar-maple her father bought for us many years ago.
But I seem to have not assimilated her death yet, which I’m told is fairly common.
I’m devastated and heartbroken. We were very attached. She was the best friend I ever had.
So it’s back to a big empty house, enthusiastically greeted by my dog, of course.
The sun had not set yet, so it looked like I’d be able to take her for a walk.
• My current dog is “Scarlett” (as in “Scarlett O’Hara”) a rescue Irish-Setter. She’s seven, and is our sixth Irish-Setter, a high-energy dog. (A “rescue Irish Setter” is an Irish Setter rescued from a bad home; e.g. abusive or a puppy-mill [Scarlett was from a failed backyard breeder]. By getting a rescue-dog, I avoid puppydom, but the dog is often messed up. —Scarlett isn't bad.)
I was returning from what I think was grief-share number six.
I’ve only been to this series of grief-shares, because it has the advantage of being nearby.
It’s only about 25 minutes away. Others are farther. Another is 45 minutes away, and the many in Rochester are at least 55 minutes away, and that’s just to Rochester’s southern border.
45 minutes one-way is too far. That’s abandoning the dog in the house one-and-a-half hours just for travel-time. 25 minutes each way is only almost an hour total.
The grief-share is about two-and-a-half hours. The dog is abandoned in the house about three-and-a-half hours.
That’s not too bad. I don’t like to exceed four hours.
The house is not entirely empty. My dog would be waiting inside.
My wife died four months ago, so it’s just me and the dog.
I related at this grief-share how going to bed every night is no problem. Things seem to make sense and seem normal.
I’m told this is often not the case. That the bereaved often can’t sleep.
But I don’t seem to have that problem. What’s hard is every morning.
It’s the same old waazoo, just me and the dog.
My beloved wife of 44 years is GONE.
And she’s not coming back, much as I still feel she is.
That’s factually obvious, of course. Her ashes are out under the sugar-maple her father bought for us many years ago.
But I seem to have not assimilated her death yet, which I’m told is fairly common.
I’m devastated and heartbroken. We were very attached. She was the best friend I ever had.
So it’s back to a big empty house, enthusiastically greeted by my dog, of course.
The sun had not set yet, so it looked like I’d be able to take her for a walk.
• My current dog is “Scarlett” (as in “Scarlett O’Hara”) a rescue Irish-Setter. She’s seven, and is our sixth Irish-Setter, a high-energy dog. (A “rescue Irish Setter” is an Irish Setter rescued from a bad home; e.g. abusive or a puppy-mill [Scarlett was from a failed backyard breeder]. By getting a rescue-dog, I avoid puppydom, but the dog is often messed up. —Scarlett isn't bad.)
Labels: grief-share
posted by BobbaLew at 6:22 PM
1 Comments:
Dogs have a different biological time clock. They don't perceive time like we do. One hour and 5 hours are all the same to them. It is just time. What matters to them is that they can trust that we do come back.
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