Hurd Orchards

Time to name names.
We are in receipt of our annual pre-Christmas Hurd Orchards flyer, “gifts from the farm.”
Seems I blogged this before, but I don’t think it was Hurd.
A similar online insanity.
A gift of simple pine-cones arranged as a display for some insane amount, perhaps $200 or more.
My wife was stunned.
“I can get pine-cones free from the forest-floor, and assemble them for sale. Maybe I should,” she said.
“Dress the arrangement up with florid prose, and sell it for a fortune!”
“A sucker is born every minute,” I said.
“Although your offering won’t have the ‘Hurd Orchards’ imprimatur,” I added.
“I guess that counts for something, like maybe $200 or more for a display of pine-cones!” I said.
We perused yesterday’s flyer.
Many preserve offerings were $35. Some were $50 or more, some $70.
The cheapest was $22; “Handmade, succulently delicious, fresh as the summer sun and delightfully pretty.”
$22 for a single 12-ounce jar of jelly!
Although it’s tied with French rooster-ribbons.
For cryin’ out loud!
I don’t pay anywhere near that at Weggers, although their jelly is not “handmade, succulently delicious, fresh as the summer sun and delightfully pretty.”
Nor is it tied with French rooster-ribbons.
“Shouldn’t it be ‘Freedom rooster-ribbons?’” I asked. “And what does the rooster think?”
You can bet this kid will not fire up Hurd Orchards online.
We didn’t see the $200 pine-cone offering this year.
I hope no one bit.

• “Weggers” is Wegmans, a large supermarket-chain based in Rochester we often buy groceries at.